Not at war

Doing something that you are not interested in and therefore are pathetic at it. That's what have been the story of my life for the past one year.
I was in my early teens and had big aspirations .You may think what is wrong with that but the aspiration I had were not exactly the same thing that I wanted out of life. I wanted something else and I still want that and is the true me but I aspired for something else, I thought that the big dream of mine will one day lead to what I actually want, what I am passionate about.

And trying to fit in where  I knew I don't belong was the toughest of all. I tried coping up with it and tried to give my best but my best was not actually even close. And the failure was the constant reminder of me being a misfit. I remained at constant a war with myself.

Try wearing a hat in your hand at now try to write. Do you get the best of your handwriting or barely readable letters?
The outcome of the handwriting was actually what I got out of life.
Take a bird and put it in a cage it will survive but put it in a glass box filled with vacuum it won't even survive for few hours. And the monotony and boredom which I felt due to lack of interest was my glass box filled with vacuum but I am no bird and I managed to survive it for a year and I had been in a cage for the  year before.
All that kept me going was illusion that all this will end .And today it ends. I am free I am out of the glass cage and breathing oxygen and it's combining with the haemoglobin and going to my brain and my heart and I am completely free and happy. I am not at war anymore I am on my way to base camp.
I don't know what I am going to do now when I don't have that so called aspirations to fulfil and have no war to fight with myself. Maybe I will try to figure out a way how to achieve what I actually want out of life.
But the thing I will do today is I will enjoy my first day of freedom.