Brain war.

It's always the war within the brains
But
The heart is always at blame
It's your brain who want to be crazy
It's your brain that stops you from doing so
The brain wants to fall in love without caring about the world
The brain is the one who is scared to let its guard down
But we blame the heart to be mad to fall in love
and appreciate the brain to think the best for you
It's an illusion of the brain which makes us believe that the heart is to blame
But the it is the brain playing its game
The heart doesn't make decisions
It is a mere slave of our brains
It's always the brain which is at war with itself and we still blame our fool heart

Will she or she will

Will she be always alone
Or she will find a hand to hold
Will she have someone to wake up to
Will she be considered the world by someone
Will she be somebody's sun
Would she get a good night kiss from someone for rest of her life
Or will she be a old dog lady till she dies
Will she be thrown off her feet when someone hugs her
Will she cook the favourites of someone just to see that person smile
Or will she walk alone on the path of life
Will she have someone to fight with
Will she have someone to say sorry to
Will she have someone for whom she would fight the entire world
Or she would end up in this world all alone.
Will she find her love of life
Or will she be too alone till the end of her time

She

She was young
She was pretty
She would smile and be bubbly
She loved her life
She loved her work

Until

she was uprooted from all the joy to complete melancholy
She was objectified
She was checked out
She was made to feel insecure
She was made to feel weak
She was made to feel vulnerable
She was broken down
She was raped
By those hedious monsters of society

She but was she
She was strong
She was capable to overcome those insecurities
She built herself up again piece by piece
And joint herself to a new she
Who was not as bubbly or smiling, but still had a beating heart and would breathe

From Believing To Trusting

Believing: to trust something without certainty.

When we first meet a person we believe what they say, we have no absolute certainty about their words.
When we get a new idea or when we start a new task we believe in ourselves to be able to complete it even here we are not sure.
It takes time to convert the belief into trust. And between these two things lies hope.
We hope that what we believe to be true so that the belief can be transformed into trust.
We also fear what we believe is not false because that can be saddening.
We gain trust in ourselves we are humans and we have a tendency to doubt and question and we question ourselves the most.
We question our belief, we question our hope, we question our boldness and then we fear for the consequences.
And once we have done all that we sit and wait for the outcome and if the outcome is in our favour then the belief turns into
Trust.
And that's the sweetest thing of all to be able to trust someone, something and to trust yourself above all.

But it can be the other way round, what we believe in can be faux, and the outcome; well not so pleasant as we expect it to be and that is saddening. If this happens we stop trusting anyone and we reach back to square one. This time more experienced, more cautious.

But does that help or our hearts rules out our brains ??

Bhakti Sangeet 2015

Bhakti Sangeet is annually organised by Sahitya Kala Parishad department of art,culture and languages, Government of Delhi

It was a three day program filled with music and rhythm with numerous popular artist
Performance on the first day were by Norra Sisters,Dhruv Sangari,Anup Jalota
On the second day Meeta Pandit,Shubha Mugdal,Iqbal Ahmed khan enlightened the evening with their presence
on the third day Arshad Ali khan,Sumitra Guha,Kabir cafe, Master Salem were there to tie all the people present in a bond of art and music.

I was there too listen to Kabir cafe play,I had seen them on The Dewarists and they were really good,so i was looking forward for them to perform.

The band has 5 amazing musician Neeraj Arya is the lead vocalist and rhythm guitar and man behind the idea of this neo-fusion of taking words of saint Kabir and putting them in-front of this EDM loving generation.

Mukund and his violin have an unbreakable connection
Raman Iyer's mandolin was like an extended body part.
Poubuanpou Britto did magic with his bass guitar.
Viren did none less than spellbinding everyone with the beat of the drums.

They played Zara Halke Gaddi Hakko, Fakkiri (one of my favorites) which had a very interesting line 'kya chinega tu garibi se' which means no one can snatch anything away from a poor soul.

There performance was  followed by Master Saleem.Who is a well known Bollywood artist

Overall, it was an evening well-spent with great music and music lovers.

Books

I had a great  day but by the end of it I was laying in my bed lights out and just had a thought process on.
Sometimes, it happens that even you are happy you start feeling miserable and start to crumble on the insides that is exactly what was happening to me.
So I decided to read something to divert my mind.
I had a Mills and Boons romance, the alchemist and the witch of Portobello on my bed side but I felt like reading none of them as there were hardcopies and I would have to switch the light on for that I for then wanted darkness as my companian along with the characters of my next read.
So I grabed my kindle and looked what I had and I had Anna Karenina a great read but not at the moment. 
I had the fault in our stars and paper town (both by John Green) which I had already read.
I had 3 books by John Green so I decided to read something more from one of my favourite author.
So I downloaded Looking for Alaska.
Around last May I didn't know who John Green was but by this time I have cried and laughed with the characters of his books.
And that's the beauty of ebooks it just takes a few minutes to download and I am good to go
I can read my book whenever and wherever I want.
And I tend to finish books way faster and I can read books that I would not find in stores so easily
Ya I have symptoms of an obsessive bibliophile
And this habit of reading was inculcate by my mother by making me member of public library and introducing me to the world of fairy tales and now I am big sucker for books

I am not perfect

I am not perfect
I am made of flaws
Maybe more than you thought
I have freckles and a cheeky laugh
Stitched together with an imperfect graph
I am a misfit
I may have a high pitched voice
But I voice what's right
that hurts you the,problem is yours not mine.

I am not perfect
I exaggerate
I am sarcastic
I don't hide my face when I laugh
My boldness blinds you.
My behaviour annoys you.
But I am well accepted among the people of my type
I say thank you and please
But I just don't over sugar coat things
I paint, I read, I write, I curse,I breathe.
I live my share of joy and my melancholy.
I fall, I rise, I mess up, I thrive
I am not afraid to admit I am a misfit.

I don't cover up, I don't conceal
Some may think I am blunt, some may think it's an incognito for my insecurities
But I am just me.

Stop pondering over the thought of me,
Just take a moment to check yourself out
You might be living in the house next to me.

-Kirti Lunia

QUDSIA BAGH

(Pronounced qdeshiya) 
Hidden in the lanes of calm Civil Lines of Delhi. Extremely hard to notices.I had drived cross the beautiful ruins of qudsia bagh but never notice the piece of history lay there.
The 18th century establishment was a walled garden that sheltered a palace and yamuna river flowed besides this structure. The yamuna is now nowhere near and its place is taken by the Ring Road.

The enormously spread garden palace was built in 1748 by Qudsia Begum, one of the wives of Muhammed Shah Rangila,a Mughal emperor. Qudsia seduced the emperor when she was a dancer in the court and was then known as Udhman Bai.She later gave the mughals their last emperor.

 It is said that the garden had three storied fort-like walls all around it, with massive gateways on all four sides, but during the 1857 revolt, this garden was used by the British troops as their camp and most of the walls and gateways were destroyed. 

Later, it was restored by the British in their own style, and the entrance to the garden was restricted to locals, who were allowed to enter only at certain times during the day. What remains today is one gateway, one colonial-looking building which might have been the palace, and a mosque. The gateway is called Hathi or Elephant gate, and even in its ruined state, it looks majestic. 
The mosque is simple, with three domes, and is still a functioning mosque, and the colonial building standing in the middle of the garden looks like it may have been built on top of an existing building. Both mosque and building have recently been restored.
The garden was built in the traditional Persian char bagh (four garden) style, and was originally divided into four parts by the flowing water bodies and walkaways. There was also a raised pavilion to sit and admire the garden, and the four parts had various flower beds and fruit trees.
Today this garden is well maintained and a lot of birds, particularly peacocks, can be seen there. It is ideal for a peaceful walk, but also to sit back on a bench and admire the traces that history has left behind and imagine its lost grandeur.

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Not at war

Doing something that you are not interested in and therefore are pathetic at it. That's what have been the story of my life for the past one year.
I was in my early teens and had big aspirations .You may think what is wrong with that but the aspiration I had were not exactly the same thing that I wanted out of life. I wanted something else and I still want that and is the true me but I aspired for something else, I thought that the big dream of mine will one day lead to what I actually want, what I am passionate about.

And trying to fit in where  I knew I don't belong was the toughest of all. I tried coping up with it and tried to give my best but my best was not actually even close. And the failure was the constant reminder of me being a misfit. I remained at constant a war with myself.

Try wearing a hat in your hand at now try to write. Do you get the best of your handwriting or barely readable letters?
The outcome of the handwriting was actually what I got out of life.
Take a bird and put it in a cage it will survive but put it in a glass box filled with vacuum it won't even survive for few hours. And the monotony and boredom which I felt due to lack of interest was my glass box filled with vacuum but I am no bird and I managed to survive it for a year and I had been in a cage for the  year before.
All that kept me going was illusion that all this will end .And today it ends. I am free I am out of the glass cage and breathing oxygen and it's combining with the haemoglobin and going to my brain and my heart and I am completely free and happy. I am not at war anymore I am on my way to base camp.
I don't know what I am going to do now when I don't have that so called aspirations to fulfil and have no war to fight with myself. Maybe I will try to figure out a way how to achieve what I actually want out of life.
But the thing I will do today is I will enjoy my first day of freedom.

Diy Cheat Toffee

Ingredients
Condensed Milk          1 can
Water

Method:
1. Take the condensed milk can and put it in a vessels full of water
2 . Make sure that the water level in the vessel is at all times 6 inches more than can lid.
3. Boil for 2 hours

Take the can out and let it cool overnight before opening.
Your toffee is ready

This stores well for 20 days in refrigerator.

Mc Donalds Breakfast: Review

So I finally tried Mc Donalds Breakfast Menu and as usual our dear old McD which used to be great at some point of my childhood didn't fail to disappoint me.
I ordered HOT CAKES thats what they call their pancakes and a Hash Brown.

The Hot cakes came in a box and there were two of those and were accompanied by Amul Butter and some sweet syrup which was kind of a maple syrup but not exactly that.
The Hot Cakes were soft,lousy and really doughy. They were bland. It did have a unrecognisable berry kind of flavour but that didn't not enhance the taste.

Then I had the savoury item the Hash Brown. In simple words it was a grease patty.
Made out of tiny cubes of potato and held together with some kind of flour. They were crisp on the outside and soft on the inside and had a nice flavour but with each bite  there was a blast of oil in my mouth.

I thought that it would be nice as I didn't not really have any high expectations but it failed to make me happy.

Overall rating
★★☆☆☆
Not worth waking up,getting ready and going to McD for this.

Procrastination Or Something.

Procrastination
Noun (uncountable)
It is an act of postponing, delaying or putting off, especially habitually or intentionally.

I am a big time procrastinator. I am good at many things but unfortunately procrastination seems to be the thing I am best at. I am not exaggerating and for supporting the fact let me tell you something I started writing this post on 22 September 2014 and I am completing it now (march 2015)
Procrastination doesn't prove that I am lazy because I do the work that interest me the day it is assigned like my art class work which I took at school I would come home and do it that very day but the work which doesn't excite me gets completed a day or two before the deadline if it is actually important like chemistry and physics assignments. If there is no ass kicking deadlines as in case for this post it remains undone for months.

Procrastinator or I should rather call them people of my clan we tend to be great at making excuses and will think of any possible one as of now I should be doing Calculas but here I am writing about procrastination while procrastinating.

It is like a weird habit but the thing that procrastination teaches me is that always do the thing which you don't feel like procrastinate to.

So follow your heart and do what you like maybe you wouldn't have Gucci, Prada or YSL,etc to brag and DFL emporio would not maybe your second home but following your instincts will surely not make a shrinks office your second home. And when one day you will all be wise and old you will not think about the  best of shoes and outfits you wore but will surely remember the moments of joy you lived and that my friend is the feeling no one can ever buy.

I have no idea how this post about procrastination became a motivational kind of speech and for those who thought I would tell the way to deal with procrastination I am sorry to disappoint you because  I don't have a clue about it I just have my way with it.

The last day at school

Today I went to school for the last time.
This year had plethora of things which I did for the last time like writing an unit test exam.Wearing my summer uniform for the last time and then switching to my winter uniform.Going to the school trip. Eating at the school canteen. Maybe I met many of the people for the last time.
This year had a plethora of things which I did for the first time. I wore a saree for the first time for our farewell. I gave Pre-Board examination for the first time.

There are many more lasts and firsts but what it made me realise is  that life has been full of firsts and lasts there was a day when I took my first step, and spoke the first word and there will be a day when I take my last breath finishing  my quota of air.
When I walked out of my class where I have spent hundreds of memorable moments for the last year and into the corridor and out of the gates of the place where I came everyday and learnt to make myself and which made me what I  am today.This is the place where I met some of the best people I have ever known. I gave it a good look. It stood there tall and handsome dressed in red  and cream and it seemed like a  proud craftsman looking at the piece of art on which he  had spend years in making and detailing.

Whenever I will cross the lane and see my school with a beautiful heritage and a glorious future it will be a walk down the memory lane and I will be full of gratitude for making me who I am. And it would still be proud and happy!

P.s. The year is  an academic year.